We do hard things

Thursday, April 17, 2008

We do hard things…
12/28/02

Over the last couple of years I have had to say “goodbye” to some special people in my life. I said “goodbye” to Blaine as he left on a mission. I said “goodbye” to Nick as he left for college. When I left my calling as this Ward’s Bishop, I said “goodbye” to presiding over this ward. My dad passed away this year, and I had so say ‘goodbye’ to him. Now Blaine is home, and he will be leaving home again, getting married and going to college. I will need to say “goodbye” again. These are difficult times, and times which cause me to think deeply about important topics.

As I’ve thought on what’s important, I’ve made a list of the top 100 things I need to make sure my kids know before they leave home, before I say “goodbye”.

Some of the things on my list they have learned pretty well. Things like:
Throw and catch balls of all sizes
Ride a bike with confidence
Hike all day w/o getting lost, bitten, or covered with a rash
Speak before a small group for a few minutes
clear your plate from the table,
brush your teeth after eating
Thank the hostess before you leave a party
Learn how to play a musical instrument well enough to enjoy playing in front of a group

But other things I fear they are not prepared to enter the world yet. Things they still need to learn, and I fear how they will learn it. Things like:
Balance a checkbook manually, even if they do their banking online
Set up your own computer system w/o help from anyone else
Draw an illustration at least well enough to get your point across
Always thank the cook – never leave your plate at the table.

Of all the bits of wisdom I would like to pass on to my kids there are 2 which I think stand above the others. Each bit of wisdom has 4 simple words.

The first is – “Thy will be done.”
When it comes right down to it we only have 1 choice to make in this world. It is to choose between “Thy will be done” and “My will be done”. If you can distinguish between these two, and choose the earlier – you will find peace and joy no matter the trials that come your way, or the craziness that enters your life.

The second is - “We do hard things”.
When it comes to finding peace and joy, it doesn’t come without some pain. It doesn’t come without growing and changing. If we want to be different than we are, we must change. And the bottom line is that growing and changing is usually hard.

I heard a powerful talk by the dean of nursing at BYU where she spoke about “learning the healers art.” She talked about healing, and how we heal. Her first comment was that healing hurts. She spoke about the need to stand up to the pain, and grow through it. If we just dodge the pain, we never heal properly. The same is true in our lives. If we want to become the people the Lord intends of us, we must stand up to the challenges in our lives, the painful things, and grow through them.

How? How do we do the hard thing? How do we do the hard thing? We remember the first bit of wisdom- ‘we choose to do the Lord’s will instead of our own will. When we choose to do the Lord’s will, we have the strength to do things that might have seemed impossible before.

I remember when Rich Winder returned from his mission to Czechoslovakia, he said something that impressed me. He said, that the calling was very very hard. That you couldn’t have paid him to do what he did. ‘but’ he continued ‘I did it because I knew that the Lord wanted me to do it. I knew that the call came from a prophet of God.”

Isn’t that the principle that drives all righteousness. That you couldn’t pay us to do what is right in difficult and challenging situations – BUT we can do it – no matter how hard it is – if we know that the lord wishes us to endure it – or grow through it?

When we choose to do the Lord’s will, we have the strength to build an ark, to kill a laban, to part the red sea, to confess a sin, to forgive one who has hurt us, to say goodbye to a loved on.

We can say – as did Job after passing through untold tribulations and trials –
“…the LORD gave, and the LORD hath btaken away; cblessed• be the name of the LORD.”

I pray that as my children go out into the world, and as we each go about our lives, we will make the decision to seek first the will of God for us, and that we will do it – even if it is hard.

I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, who set the example to us in both of these areas – to do hard things which the Father wanted of him – Amen.